Ok so today we are talking about kids. Yep thats right KIDS. Most of you have them. Not me. I am 27 years old and have never really had the urge to have children. I don't know if it makes me selfish or what but it seems like everyone has them. I still haven't decided if I will go down that road someday but as they say my window of opportunity is getting smaller lol.
I guess I need to find the guy first. And I am in no rush for that one thats for sure. Sometimes I don't really know if I am meant to be with someone. I actually like being alone. I can do whatever I want, sleep late, cook for one, lay around all day in my pjs. I mean the possibilities are ENDLESS! Again I think that makes me selfish but whatever.
So out of the 6 kids in my generation on both sides of family I am actually the only one who doesn't have a child. Thanks to my cousin Kevin for changing that one with sweet baby Russ just a few months ago! 
To be honest, babies scare the ever living mess out of me! They are so small and fragile I just don't know if I could handle it. I remember watching Ryken for like 2 hours a day and I was terrified! I basically sat and stared at him sitting in his bouncy seat and hoped nothing happened. I finally got used to him and was better but I was still scared I was going to do something wrong. What if I don't heat the formula up right, what if I can't get him to burp, what if I put his diaper on wrong, what if he spits up. There's so much going on all the time when a baby is around and I just don't know if I am cut out for it. I mean I just sit there and think its up to me to keep this tiny human alive? Thats a big dang deal. And to all of those people out there doing just that BRAVO! I salute anyone who has enough patience.
I sometimes think how great it would be to know that I helped create something. That I am able to raise a child and teach it right from wrong. To know I have brought something in the world to be proud of. It would also be nice to feel needed occasionally. Everyone has a need to feel that someone in the world depends on them and who better to express that feeling than a child. But then I start thinking what if I screw up? What if the kid turns out horrible because I failed them somehow? I know my parents had a rough time with me bc I was a mean kid and I have a feeling I would get repaid 10 times over for that! I know my sister is getting her end of it from her kiddos but sometimes it makes me laugh (I know that is wrong but I can't help it! its almost like secretly paying her back for those times she was mean to me too) LOVE YOU SIS :) but for real I know being and Aunt is wonderful but is that where I want to draw the line?
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| I gotta remember this lol |
Such a touch decision. Until that day comes when I really have to decide then I will enjoy my quiet house by myself :) and save me some money because my goodness kids are expensive but thats a whole nother can of worms right there!
Don't get me wrong I love kids. I really do enjoy them but I like them when they can walk and do activities and hold a conversation lol. I mean I'm great with kids 4 and up! Ryken and Adyson are awesome because they are old enough to know whats up!
